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Victoria Beckham has had it up to here with tabloids trying to get the skinny on her figure.

The glamorous Brit is reportedly gearing up to sue the U.K. magazine Now over an article that claimed she was "hooked on sex and diet pills," which has since mysteriously vanished from the rag's website (though search results confirm the story once existed).

"The accusation is dangerous, defamatory and blatantly untrue," Beckham's agent, Jo Milloy, said Monday, referring to the latter half of that statement.

"Victoria takes her position as a role model to young women very seriously and is horrified by this hurtful, fabricated story. It is now with her lawyers."

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Maybe the Olympics have instilled a little patriotism in Joe Francis. How else to explain why the Girls Gone Wild founder has stepped up to take one for the team, filing a multimillion-dollar lawsuit against his onetime Florida captors, all in the name of American justice?

Francis filed the paperwork in Los Angeles Superior Court today, alleging that the federal judge and opposing attorneys in a 2003 case in Panama City had illegally imprisoned him, worked together to all but hold him ransom in jail while denying him bail and otherwise bilking him into settling several pending legal actions while behind bars.

All told, his legal actions against city officials seek $300 million in compensatory damages.

The breast-happy entrepreneur is also petitioning the court to trash the settlement he reached with two women who sued him in Florida over their allegedly underage participation in a GGW video, contending that the ladies purposely lied about their ages to get on camera.

"They kept me in jail for 11 months for a civil case. This may be justice in Panama City, but it’s not American justice. This doesn’t make any sense," Francis told E! News Tuesday.

"I am suing to protect everyone else, so this type of thing never happens again."

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Clay Enos. TM & © DC Comics

Who will watch The Watchmen? Nobody, if 20th Century Fox gets its way.

After a major court victory, the studio has announced a bid to block the release of Warner Bros.' anticipated adaptation of the seminal graphic novel by Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons.

Fox originally tried to develop the project more than a decade ago, but didn't manage to get the film off the drawing board. The studio claims Warners never properly acquired the rights to The Watchmen, and, in a major twist, instead of seeking a share of the would-be blockbuster's box-office gross, Fox is seeking to kill the flick entirely before it unspools in theaters March 6.

Cue the agonized cries of fanboys everywhere.

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David Livingston/ZUMAPress.com

Every little step Bobby Brown takes these days leads him back to court.

The erstwhile King of New Jack Swing is being sued by his former divorce attorneys for allegedly failing to pay a $90,217 legal tab covering expenses related to his divorce battle with ex-wife Whitney Houston.

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Maciel-MBF/X17online.com

Who said getting back on track was cheap?

Stacy Phillips, one of the shorter-term members of Britney Spears' legal team, has let it be known that shoring up one's defenses can be downright bank-breaking.

According to a declaration filed Monday in Los Angeles Superior Court, the "Sometimes I Run" songstress owes $338,414.87 to Phillips for $700-an-hour services rendered between March and June—and there are rumors of a lawsuit in the works, because Spears' camp is objecting to the hefty sum. (View court documents.)

But that's a discount, says the attorney, who states that the tab includes "time already deducted as a courtesy," time "written off" and $75,000 that she expects to get next month. (A court commissioner earmarked that sum for Phillips in April while poring over Spears' bills.)

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Michelly Rall/Getty Images

Jared Leto is keeping the eyeliner on for the foreseeable future.

The actor-musician-ladies' man has released a statement addressed to friends and fans making absolutely clear that his band, 30 Seconds to Mars, has no intention of breaking up—despite Virgin Records America suing the group for $30 million for failing to deliver on a five-album contract. (View the lawsuit.)

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AP Photo/Chris Pizzello

Three days is all the extra time Phil Spector is going to get.

On Friday, a California appeals court rejected his lawyers' request to halt the music producer's retrial for the 2003 murder of B-movie actress Lana Clarkson. They wanted to appeal the case on double jeopardy grounds and make sure prosecutors would not ask the jury to convict Spector, 68, on lesser charges of manslaughter.

The panel scheduled the retrial for Oct. 2, three days after its original start date.

Spector's first courthouse showdown was declared a mistrial when the jury was deadlocked 10-2 in favor of a second-degree murder conviction.

Chris Weeks / Getty Images

It's 30 Seconds to Mars. And about half that to file a lawsuit.

Jared Leto and his bandmate brother, Shannon, were sued Friday by Virgin Records America for failing to come through on a five-album deal the eyelinered duo and the now-defunct indie label, Immortal Records, inked with the plaintiff nine years ago. (View the suit.)

While Leto used a couple of those years to appear in movies like Girl, Interrupted and American Psycho, his band eventually got the ball rolling with its 2002 self-titled debut.

The alt-rockers followed that up with 2005's A Beautiful Lie.

But since their sophomore effort, according to the lawsuit filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, 30 Seconds to Mars has remained three albums short of the promised land.

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NBC Photo: Byron Cohen

We know what the topic of conversation around the water cooler is going to be next week.

Craig Robinson, who in addition to his current role as a hit man in Pineapple Express is best known as Darryl, the warehouse foreman and Kelly's nonchalant suitor on The Office, is facing felony drug charges stemming from an arrest during a June traffic stop.

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Nancy Kaszerman/ZUMA Press

His wrestling days may be behind him, but Hulk Hogan can still manage to avoid getting pinned.

A Florida judge has released the pro wrestler from having to go through with the purchase of a $4.2 million Las Vegas condo, a property he agreed to buy with estranged wife Linda Bollea back in 2005, and a strong sticking point in their ongoing legal dealings, with Bollea just last month seeking to get her ex held in contempt of court and jailed for failing to pony up his share of the condo's cost.

As it is, Judge George Green ruled on Thursday that Hogan was no longer bound to the sale.

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Maricopa County Sheriff's Office

In honor of the Olympics, DMX is apparently trying to break some sort of record.

The arrest-addled rapper was busted again Thursday, this time in Miami on an outstanding warrant for skipping another court date in Arizona related to his pending animal-cruelty and drug-possession case.

Pictures taken by TMZ show that police nabbed him outside a Wal-Mart this afternoon.

Although DMX's attorney did appear on his client's behalf Tuesday afternoon to provide documentation that his client couldn't make it because he was hospitalized in Miami (he wouldn't say why, though), the judge opted to issue a bench warrant anyway and raised his bond to $25,000.

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Evan Agostini/Getty Images, John McCain 2008

Jackson Browne is always up for a good protest.

The Rock and Roll Hall of Famer has refused to take it easy, suing GOP presidential candidate John McCain and the Republican National Committee for using his biggest hit, "Running on Empty," in an Obama-slamming campaign ad without his permission.

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